Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
