erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We left an ass print on the piano.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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