MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Who died my cat blue again?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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