"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Small penises have feelings too.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
