Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
