i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
