i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
