i may or may not be watching the land before time
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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