I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
