i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
