i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
