Your tits are I can't wait for
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
