At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
