he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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