i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
