I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Michael Bay diarrhea
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I still have a little drunk in my system
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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