Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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