All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize