After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Randomize
