I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
