You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
