I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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