Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
