No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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