im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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