Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
