that's an acceptable place to lick
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
