that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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