I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
