this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
