Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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