is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
