from now on my penis is your penis
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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