all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
