I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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