oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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