Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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