Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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