We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
