You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize