just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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