So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
