3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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