lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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