sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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