Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
