scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
