planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize