He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
MIDGETS
????
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
