Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
