break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
