Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
