Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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