she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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