no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Ladies don't puke and tell
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
