i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
this is an emotional support booty call
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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