Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize