At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
