I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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