this boner is exhausting
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
