Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
